This was a short story I wrote while taking a writing class. I wonder what my children will think of me when they are old enough to read this? :-)
Grape Nuts was my cereal of choice for breakfast. Mistake number one. Normally my digestive track is unbothered by the fiber, but I think maybe the bran muffin (mistake number two) that I ate in the car while on my way to work might have had something to do with the unusual amount of gurgling and bubbling my intestines were kneading through that day. I managed to make it through the day without polluting the air; however by the time I stepped in the elevator that evening, my normally flabby stomach was rather taut. Thankfully the elevator was empty when I began my descent from the 10th floor to the first floor lobby. Unable to contain the pressure any longer, as soon the elevator doors closed, I freed a rather potent S.B.D..(Silent But Deadly) The pressure relief was so intense, it gave me goose bumps. Then, it happened. At floor seven, the elevator paused.
The broken wind and malicious odor blew me to a memory of a family car ride we took when I was a kid and my feelings about flatulence back then.
Nose lifted in the air, sniffing like a beagle trying to find a trail, my little brother exclaimed, “Nice one gramma!!” It took my own nose a second (but only a second) to realize that he was referring to the week old rotten egg stench that now polluted the air inside dad’s old vintage classic car. Seated to my right, Gramma smiled proudly at her grandson’s accolade.
“Thank you dear. I’ve been saving that one just for you.”
“Can we please roll down the windows,” I begged.
“Not unless you want to get wet,” my mother complained referring to the endless downpour we were driving through.
“Well at least I’ll be able to breathe!!” I cried.
Much to my lungs’ dismay, the sealed windows imprisoned the humidity which amplified Gramma’s expunged gas. Driving, Dad focused intently on the road in front of him, ignoring the fresh smell of manure. On my left, I couldn’t tell from Uncle Jack’s clenched face if he was daring himself to breathe the poisonous air or envied his own mother’s ability to taint an otherwise stench free environment.
He readjusted his sitting position. I then realized why his face was clenched. The vibration of the vinyl car seat gave him away.
“I am going to die of gas poisoning,” I thought, not amused in the least. My brother was speechless this time, in utter admiration of being able to release such potent gas at will.
“Smells like bacon and eggs,” he muttered in awe, relishing the deathly aroma.
When I was at the ripe old age of twelve, I considered my self a rather intuitive and reflective person. Most kids at the same age still find flatulence funny. (Many adults unfortunately feel the same way.) I, on the other hand, viewed it as people infringing upon my freedom to breathe flatulent free air. I would have much rather inhaled the fumes of second hand cigarette smoke, or a decomposing land fill or the warm, sweet aroma of feces from a near by chicken house. At least with that perverted type of aromatherapy, I usually had the opportunity to evacuate the infected area.
Nope, not this time. Wedged between two flaming, flatulent family members, they took pleasure in sharing the sometimes musical and most of the time rank qualities of their gaseous digestive system. I wondered if all families have odiferous members. I imagined myself as president of the F.A.R.T. support group. (Families/Friends against Rectal Transmission)
I often pondered if this would have a negative effect on my search to find a fart free husband. Maybe we would meet while picketing for fresh air in front of the capital building in D.C., the crowd chanting “Must be flatulent free!!” “One, two, three, four, fart in public no more!” We would join together in our effort lobbying congress to pass the first Free of Flatulence bill.
The elevator eased to a stop on the seventh floor. Now older, my phobia of flatulence has been tamed somewhat. Occasionally, I allow myself to relieve the pent up air pressure in my stomach. It can be a rather liberating experience. However, I would never subject anyone else around me to such a foul bodily function. Well, not intentionally anyway. Sometimes someone comes from behind unexpectedly and the barbarous air bubbles have already been freed. I usually move quickly to another aisle in the grocery store, hoping the innocent victim won’t know that I was the perpetrator. Unfortunately, being stuck in an elevator, I was not that lucky.
“I guess I could get off,” I panicked, “but whoever it is, would still know it was me. And besides, if I don’t get home soon, I might leave behind more than just an aromatic appetite suppressant.” My face flushed red.
“There is no where to go, please don’t anyone get on this elevator,” I pleaded silently.
The fresh aroma reminded me of my eight month old nephew’s diapers. Talk about rank, I think I lost a few nose hairs. The door slid open to a somewhat attractive dark haired guy about my age. My mortification only intensified as he smiled politely and stepped aboard. He pushed the button for the lobby. I stood there awkwardly, hoping he had a cold or sinus infection to protect him for the stinging stench. The door closed trapping the smell once again. After two floors, he turned and smiled at me.
“Nice one. My niece’s diaper’s don’t smell that good.” He said admirably. Flabbergasted, I didn’t know what to say.
I managed to squeak out a “Thanks.” I wasn’t sure if I should be more embarrassed or not. The guy didn’t seem to think twice about it. As I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, he seemed lost in his own thoughts. We marinated in baby poop stench for seven floors until the door opened at the lobby.
“I’ll see you around,” he said grinning as we both stepped off the elevator, leaving its mouth yawning open to claim its next victim. Maybe it would be better not to find a fart free husband after all.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
SCCTE Conference Proposal
SCCTE 2008: Teaching and Creating South Carolina Writers
Program Proposal for Teachers
DUE October 1, 2007
Name of Lead Presenter Angela Kiker
(Include other presenters in the program description below.)
Email: akiker@oconee.k12.sc.us; angelakiker1978@yahoo.com Phone: school – 864-885-5000 cell – 864-245-8220
Home Address: 701 S. Cherry St. Seneca, SC 29678
School Affiliation: Seneca High School School District of Oconee County
Describe your proposal in 250 words or less. Please remember your presentation will be scheduled for 45 minutes on Friday, January 25, 2008.
Do your students struggle with knowing when to write formally or informally? There are two sides to every piece of writing: the writer and the audience. Students wrestle with understanding when to use formal and informal voice in their writing. Even with a formal piece of writing, slang terms creep in unexpectedly and are difficult for students to identify and correct. This interactive research supported demonstration provides teachers with real life applicable strategies that not only guide students through the difference between writing to a child, texting to a friend, or writing to a business, but also provides them opportunity to practice and build confidence in their writing skills. Teachers are shown slang words for vocabulary terms and are then guided in finding more “formal” words to replace the informal ones. Then using television commercials and/or pictures to provide a visual of what an audience may look like, participants analyze techniques used to capture various audiences’ attention. Through freewriting, teachers explore how they would feel being each particular audience. Building from their freewrite, participants write letters explaining their chosen career to three different audiences, paying particular attention to their word choice. This strategy is especially helpful for non-college bound high school students. Student samples will be shared and handouts for the demonstration will be given to each participant.
Audience: ____ Elementary _X__ High School ____ Middle School ___ General
Equipment required:
If you need a laptop or projector, please bring your own. Due to high rates for rental equipment, we are unable to provide this equipment.
_________ Overhead Projector
______x___ Screen
_________ TV/VCR/DVD
_________ Other (please explain)
For questions contact
Nancy Swanson swansonv@pickens.k12.sc.us
Program Proposal for Teachers
DUE October 1, 2007
Name of Lead Presenter Angela Kiker
(Include other presenters in the program description below.)
Email: akiker@oconee.k12.sc.us; angelakiker1978@yahoo.com Phone: school – 864-885-5000 cell – 864-245-8220
Home Address: 701 S. Cherry St. Seneca, SC 29678
School Affiliation: Seneca High School School District of Oconee County
Describe your proposal in 250 words or less. Please remember your presentation will be scheduled for 45 minutes on Friday, January 25, 2008.
Do your students struggle with knowing when to write formally or informally? There are two sides to every piece of writing: the writer and the audience. Students wrestle with understanding when to use formal and informal voice in their writing. Even with a formal piece of writing, slang terms creep in unexpectedly and are difficult for students to identify and correct. This interactive research supported demonstration provides teachers with real life applicable strategies that not only guide students through the difference between writing to a child, texting to a friend, or writing to a business, but also provides them opportunity to practice and build confidence in their writing skills. Teachers are shown slang words for vocabulary terms and are then guided in finding more “formal” words to replace the informal ones. Then using television commercials and/or pictures to provide a visual of what an audience may look like, participants analyze techniques used to capture various audiences’ attention. Through freewriting, teachers explore how they would feel being each particular audience. Building from their freewrite, participants write letters explaining their chosen career to three different audiences, paying particular attention to their word choice. This strategy is especially helpful for non-college bound high school students. Student samples will be shared and handouts for the demonstration will be given to each participant.
Audience: ____ Elementary _X__ High School ____ Middle School ___ General
Equipment required:
If you need a laptop or projector, please bring your own. Due to high rates for rental equipment, we are unable to provide this equipment.
_________ Overhead Projector
______x___ Screen
_________ TV/VCR/DVD
_________ Other (please explain)
For questions contact
Nancy Swanson swansonv@pickens.k12.sc.us
Within
Wooden bench boards groan under my stretching, swollen skin.
My feet sigh as pressure is relieved.
gentle unrhythmic tapping at the edge of my stomach jostles sandwich pieces.
The bench continues complaining as my rump settles in between the cracks.
A
Sudden
Jab
Reminds me that quarters are tight and the time is all too quickly approaching.
a water bed flesh rolls and wobbles
An elbow strums my rib cage to the unheard tune of a lullaby
Suddenly
Feet
Stabbed sharply into my ribs
keeping the beat to a silent drum
Toes crawling through
poking my ribs
searching for extra space.
A small hand kneads my bladder like a ball of dough
Creating an urge that must be relieved immediately
Pulling my enlarged body off the bench
the wooden boards sigh with relief
my feet groan and swallow the extra load.
My feet sigh as pressure is relieved.
gentle unrhythmic tapping at the edge of my stomach jostles sandwich pieces.
The bench continues complaining as my rump settles in between the cracks.
A
Sudden
Jab
Reminds me that quarters are tight and the time is all too quickly approaching.
a water bed flesh rolls and wobbles
An elbow strums my rib cage to the unheard tune of a lullaby
Suddenly
Feet
Stabbed sharply into my ribs
keeping the beat to a silent drum
Toes crawling through
poking my ribs
searching for extra space.
A small hand kneads my bladder like a ball of dough
Creating an urge that must be relieved immediately
Pulling my enlarged body off the bench
the wooden boards sigh with relief
my feet groan and swallow the extra load.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Final Reflection
Part I Thinking and Writing
Castle's Foundation
This was actually a journal we wrote one morning in response to Henry David Thoreau's quote, "If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them." I had started as a typical journal complaining how my students have their castles in the air, but yet they do nothing to build under it. I try to encourage them that they can achieven their dreams, but it takes work. Success rarely falls into anyone's lap.
With this poem, I tried to stick with the saying, "less is more." I wanted to get the point across without beating it into the reader. I wanted to use as few words as possible and for it to still have an impact on the audience.
Within
This is a poem I have wanted to write for several months now. I wanted to capture my pregnancy and be able to help my husband feel what I feel. Again, in this piece I struggled with being to verbose. I feel with a lot of poetry, less is more. I really had to force myself to stick with this motto. Descriptive language has always been one of my strengths, but I have trouble making it flow. Being at the Botanical Gardens when I wrote this really helped put me in a pensive mood.
Flatulent Free?
This short story (possibly a chapter out of a future novel maybe?) was actually generated from a demonstration presented by Laurie. She gave us a picture of six family members packed in a car. Although everyone in the picture was smiling, I didn't view it as everyone having a great time crammed like sardines in the car. I guess I have been on too many family vacations to know better. Their smiles looked tense to me, like someone had just let one rip, hence the story. The subject of flatulence has always been funny to me and it is actually a topic of many lengthy discussions between my husband and me. I wanted to show through the story the progression of how children often feel or think one way about a subject and by the time they reach adulthood their opinion changes completely. A great deal of time was spent again using descriptive language and wanting readers to actually be able to smell the story. :-)
In my proposal, I struggled with being descriptive enough and including enough information so that readers would know exactly what to expect if they were to attend my demonstration. I tried to be as concisley informative as possible. Dawn and Rebecca's journals were especially helpful with this piece.
Part II Process of Revision
Castle's Foundation - Poem
Mike Rush commented that my abbreviation of the word "because - b/c" detracted from the formality of the piece. I had not even realized I left the abbreviation in there. I am glad he pointed that out. I was going to take part of the beginning out, (part of my journaling) and he supported my idea to start with the third sentence.
Nicole W. also gave me a great suggestion for the title which I used instead of being too repititious with "building foundations." Repetition is effective, but I felt with that being in the title too, it was overkill.
Within - Poem
I wanted to make sure this piece was descriptive enough as far as touch and feel that my husband could feel what I was going through. Practicing with the "less is more" phrase, I really struggled with trying not to over use words and keeping it simple. I also wanted to use the structure or arrangement of the poem to help create the feeling which is why some lines are shorter than others. NWP's Deana felt that it detracted from the piece, but she did suggest deleting a repeated image. When I took her suggestion, it really helped the flow of the piece. UWP's Angie N. also recommended adding a descriptive word to better visualize the tapping.
Flatulent Free? - short story
I revised this piece four times before posting it to the E-Anthology. I spent a great deal of time working on the images, dialogue and trying to figure out what direction I wanted the story to take. Originally, it was going to be about a family vacation, but it took on a life of its own with the flatulence. Once I knew what direction the story was taking, I then struggled with the conclusion of the piece and the transitioning back and forth from present to past. I had a great deal of help from other NWP members regarding content and transition. Jennifer suggested that I take out a reference to Chevy Chase family vacation because it did seem to take the story in a different direction. Breah and Rebecca suggested to take out the line about the college dorm, which I did because it was just not needed. Becky mentioned to delete the character's age to help the story reach all ages. I never thought of that, but when I took out the age, it did seem to encompass a wider audience. Nicole and Barb helped me smooth out the transition between past and present. Nicole's suggestion was to start off in the elevator since that is where I ended and it helps the story make a full circle, while flashing back to childhood memories in the middle. I also think that by doing that it better captures the reader's attention.
Conference Proposal - Professional Piece
With my conference proposal, I took Dawn's advice and added more detail to my abstract. Rebecca and Brian S. gave several suggestions on my abstract with wording and detail. I then took that structure and fleshed out more of the details regarding my demonstration.
Part III Learning from your Classmates
Learning from other teachers in this program helped me immensely in my own writing. I love Angie Neal's style and voice. Her imagery and voice amplify the message in her writing. She uses just the right amount of words, never too many, never too few. Her subject matter strikes a chord within me and I relate to much of what she writes. I have been very conscious of trying not to be too verbose and stick to the phrase "less is more."
Nicole Walgate's description in her writing actually places me in the story. I felt as though I was on the lake with her when their canoe tipped over. I really enjoyed her story "How to Become a Dog Bowl." She writes very well to a young audience. This is something I need to get better at especially with a child on the way. :-) Again her description is vivid and I really enjoy her knack for a solid conclusion. Conclusions are an aspect of writing in which I really struggle. When should I end it? Does it lead the reader to ponder an idea or does it just leave him/her hanging and not feeling fulfilled. Nicole does an excellent job of leaving the reader fulfilled.
I really enjoy reading Natalia Simmons' writing. Her style is one that I have trouble defining, yet find it easy to envy. Her words flow like a river off the page. She looks at people and situations from a different point of view that I do not think about capturing with the written word. I enjoy her evasive message. By that, I mean that she doesn't come right out and say what she wants the reader to understand, but upon a close inspection her message stares the reader in the face saying, "Why couldn't you find me the first time through?" I will continue to work on not spelling everything out for the reader, but by being descriptive with the situation and/or people.
Castle's Foundation
This was actually a journal we wrote one morning in response to Henry David Thoreau's quote, "If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them." I had started as a typical journal complaining how my students have their castles in the air, but yet they do nothing to build under it. I try to encourage them that they can achieven their dreams, but it takes work. Success rarely falls into anyone's lap.
With this poem, I tried to stick with the saying, "less is more." I wanted to get the point across without beating it into the reader. I wanted to use as few words as possible and for it to still have an impact on the audience.
Within
This is a poem I have wanted to write for several months now. I wanted to capture my pregnancy and be able to help my husband feel what I feel. Again, in this piece I struggled with being to verbose. I feel with a lot of poetry, less is more. I really had to force myself to stick with this motto. Descriptive language has always been one of my strengths, but I have trouble making it flow. Being at the Botanical Gardens when I wrote this really helped put me in a pensive mood.
Flatulent Free?
This short story (possibly a chapter out of a future novel maybe?) was actually generated from a demonstration presented by Laurie. She gave us a picture of six family members packed in a car. Although everyone in the picture was smiling, I didn't view it as everyone having a great time crammed like sardines in the car. I guess I have been on too many family vacations to know better. Their smiles looked tense to me, like someone had just let one rip, hence the story. The subject of flatulence has always been funny to me and it is actually a topic of many lengthy discussions between my husband and me. I wanted to show through the story the progression of how children often feel or think one way about a subject and by the time they reach adulthood their opinion changes completely. A great deal of time was spent again using descriptive language and wanting readers to actually be able to smell the story. :-)
Conference Proposal - Professional Piece
In my proposal, I struggled with being descriptive enough and including enough information so that readers would know exactly what to expect if they were to attend my demonstration. I tried to be as concisley informative as possible. Dawn and Rebecca's journals were especially helpful with this piece.
Part II Process of Revision
Castle's Foundation - Poem
Mike Rush commented that my abbreviation of the word "because - b/c" detracted from the formality of the piece. I had not even realized I left the abbreviation in there. I am glad he pointed that out. I was going to take part of the beginning out, (part of my journaling) and he supported my idea to start with the third sentence.
Nicole W. also gave me a great suggestion for the title which I used instead of being too repititious with "building foundations." Repetition is effective, but I felt with that being in the title too, it was overkill.
Within - Poem
I wanted to make sure this piece was descriptive enough as far as touch and feel that my husband could feel what I was going through. Practicing with the "less is more" phrase, I really struggled with trying not to over use words and keeping it simple. I also wanted to use the structure or arrangement of the poem to help create the feeling which is why some lines are shorter than others. NWP's Deana felt that it detracted from the piece, but she did suggest deleting a repeated image. When I took her suggestion, it really helped the flow of the piece. UWP's Angie N. also recommended adding a descriptive word to better visualize the tapping.
Flatulent Free? - short story
I revised this piece four times before posting it to the E-Anthology. I spent a great deal of time working on the images, dialogue and trying to figure out what direction I wanted the story to take. Originally, it was going to be about a family vacation, but it took on a life of its own with the flatulence. Once I knew what direction the story was taking, I then struggled with the conclusion of the piece and the transitioning back and forth from present to past. I had a great deal of help from other NWP members regarding content and transition. Jennifer suggested that I take out a reference to Chevy Chase family vacation because it did seem to take the story in a different direction. Breah and Rebecca suggested to take out the line about the college dorm, which I did because it was just not needed. Becky mentioned to delete the character's age to help the story reach all ages. I never thought of that, but when I took out the age, it did seem to encompass a wider audience. Nicole and Barb helped me smooth out the transition between past and present. Nicole's suggestion was to start off in the elevator since that is where I ended and it helps the story make a full circle, while flashing back to childhood memories in the middle. I also think that by doing that it better captures the reader's attention.
Conference Proposal - Professional Piece
With my conference proposal, I took Dawn's advice and added more detail to my abstract. Rebecca and Brian S. gave several suggestions on my abstract with wording and detail. I then took that structure and fleshed out more of the details regarding my demonstration.
Part III Learning from your Classmates
Learning from other teachers in this program helped me immensely in my own writing. I love Angie Neal's style and voice. Her imagery and voice amplify the message in her writing. She uses just the right amount of words, never too many, never too few. Her subject matter strikes a chord within me and I relate to much of what she writes. I have been very conscious of trying not to be too verbose and stick to the phrase "less is more."
Nicole Walgate's description in her writing actually places me in the story. I felt as though I was on the lake with her when their canoe tipped over. I really enjoyed her story "How to Become a Dog Bowl." She writes very well to a young audience. This is something I need to get better at especially with a child on the way. :-) Again her description is vivid and I really enjoy her knack for a solid conclusion. Conclusions are an aspect of writing in which I really struggle. When should I end it? Does it lead the reader to ponder an idea or does it just leave him/her hanging and not feeling fulfilled. Nicole does an excellent job of leaving the reader fulfilled.
I really enjoy reading Natalia Simmons' writing. Her style is one that I have trouble defining, yet find it easy to envy. Her words flow like a river off the page. She looks at people and situations from a different point of view that I do not think about capturing with the written word. I enjoy her evasive message. By that, I mean that she doesn't come right out and say what she wants the reader to understand, but upon a close inspection her message stares the reader in the face saying, "Why couldn't you find me the first time through?" I will continue to work on not spelling everything out for the reader, but by being descriptive with the situation and/or people.
Castle's Foundation
Building foundations builds strength.
Building foundations molds personalities.
Building foundations means burning muscles, blistered hands, bloody feet, aching head, exhausted mind.
Yet at the same time, it feels like a refreshing shower under a cool waterfall.
Skin tingling as the water rejuvenates your body because the work has rejuvenated your soul.
You have accomplished something….
Fear should not blanket your pathway to success…throw Fear in the wind and demand the zephyr to shred its existence.
By building your castle’s foundation you are building yourself, your life, your legacy…
Building foundations molds personalities.
Building foundations means burning muscles, blistered hands, bloody feet, aching head, exhausted mind.
Yet at the same time, it feels like a refreshing shower under a cool waterfall.
Skin tingling as the water rejuvenates your body because the work has rejuvenated your soul.
You have accomplished something….
Fear should not blanket your pathway to success…throw Fear in the wind and demand the zephyr to shred its existence.
By building your castle’s foundation you are building yourself, your life, your legacy…
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